“Hanshi called and said it was Jim!!!”

Several years ago, I called one of my senior students at home. His wife was also a student but much lower in rank. When she answered, she asked me who was calling. I told her it was Jim. “Jim who?” she insisted. “Jim Mather,” I answered. She got excited and yelled for her husband, “Kyoshi called and said it was Jim!!!”

I, of course, am Jim. That was the name my parents gave me, who I am on my birth certificate, the name I use to sign checks, and the name that will be chiseled into my tombstone. In the dojo, I am known by the title awarded me.

Unless we, as instructors, have our heads screwed on straight and regularly monitor ourselves, it’s very easy to start believing our own hype – to begin thinking we’re actually as wonderful and accomplished as our students believe or the fluff we put in our ads. Unfortunately, too many aren’t able to do this, to keep their egos in check. And when ones ego grows significantly larger than their IQ, especially when encased in the body of one who knows he can do as much damage as a 300 lbs gorilla, you have the makings for a real pompous ass.

Many years ago, I was sitting with a couple of other competitors, waiting for our division to start. A new competitor, one we’d never seen before, strutted towards us, his nose in the air. As he passed, we saw that he had “Mr. Mullen”, or something like that, embroidered on the back of his gi top. I was sitting next to a fellow competitor who was a many time major champion. He looked at the back of the guy’s gi and said “I guess he wants to make sure we don’t mistake him for Miss Mullen”.

The guy lowered himself to amble over and speak with us, but only to say “It doesn’t look like I’ll have much competition”. Well, I fought him in the first round. He opened with an attempted shuffling side kick. I did a knee check, stopping his lead leg in mid-arc upwards, then punched him in the ribs, probably harder than I should have – but I had to cover myself in case he was actually as good as he thought he was. He fell to the floor, said I had broken two of his ribs (don’t know how he determined the number so quickly), and refused to continue. The match lasted about 5 seconds. So he was right, he didn’t have much competition.

He had obviously bought his own hype.

There was a local instructor who ran a very different kind of program. When she was in the bathroom, students reportedly had to bow to the bathroom door when they passed. When one of her female students told her that her husband was not happy about her spending so much time at the school, she reportedly told her the answer was simple, leave her husband. One of her former students told me they had to sing to her - “Our grandmaster, she’s so bright, she’s our ever guiding light.”

As I said, it’s very easy to let your ego get out of whack.

Students bow to us. They defer and humble themselves to us. When we walk into a room, they stand at attention. When they enter the dojo or walk onto the dojo floor, they bow to us.

But they’re not bowing and deferring to us, they’re bowing and deferring to the head of school, a black belt, a senior martial artist, and so on. Although we may be superior to our students in martial arts knowledge and skill, they may be far superior to us in education, social accomplishment, etc. We need to always keep that firmly in mind.

One of my favorite stories about this came from the head roshi of a Zen monastery. He was giving a journalist a tour of the grounds, showing him the many duties done by the different monks. He pointed at one who was tending the garden. Another was repairing the shed. Yet another was planting a tree. But as they continued the roshi glanced around as if intending to share a secret. He leaned in close to the reporter’s ear and whispered “But I save the best job for myself.” His curiosity peaked, the reported asked what that was. “Cleaning the outhouse,” was the roshi’s answer. “Why would you consider that the best job?” “Because,” said the roshi with a smile, “it keeps me humble”.

Humility has always been one of the qualities of a superior man or woman. We need to be ever watchful that we keep that in mind.