Kenny Kuch Team Photo

This is the team photo I mentioned in my post on Kenny Kuch. Kenny is the fighter on the left. (Next to Kenny is Jeff LeValley. In the middle is Casey Elliott, a very tough leftie. Both Jeff and Casey were among my early black belts.)

Kenny Kuch

I was interviewed recently by a martial arts magazine. They asked me to supply a bunch of photos for the article. While searching through my boxes for shots I hadn’t posted before, I came across a team shot, taken at some long forgotten tournament. Fighting on our team was Ken Kuch, who everyone called Kenny.

Kenny Kuch (left) and Tom Sadowski, one of my first black belts.

Kenny Kuch was not one of my students. He was one of Sensei Ron McCausland’s, his top black belt, in fact. He and Ron ended up having several things in common. Kenny had had a very challenging fight at the same nightclub where Ron had worked as a bouncer, which I talked about in one of my previous posts. And, like his sensei, Kenny died far too early.

I first met Kenny when he was a colored belt and living in Sacramento, where Ron had his dojo. He was one of those people who put everything he had into everything he did. He was a tough fighter, even back then. You could see immediately he would become a great martial artist if he stuck with it. And he did.

Size wasn’t one of the things he had in common with Ron. Kenny wasn’t very big when I first met him. He was relatively short and almost skinny. To better prepare himself for the street, he asked Ron if he could get him a bouncer job at the same nightclub where Ron worked. They were glad to have him. Almost everyone who met Kenny, liked him immediately. He had a big, infectious smile and an easy, playful manner that always cheered everyone up.

One night he had to deal with an especially rowdy club customer. The man refused to leave. It escalated into a fight, which ended with a roundhouse kick to the customer’s head. The man went down. As Kenny was keeping an eye on him, to see if he planned to continue, Ron yelled “Look out!”

Kenny turned his head just in time to see a knife slashing straight for his throat. He leaned back, away from the blade. Instead of his throat, the knife sliced across his deltoid muscle on his upper arm and cut clear across his chest, clear to the bone. The slasher scrambled through the crowd and outside, where he got away.

When the police interviewed Kenny soon after the incident, they asked for a description of the slasher. Kenny told them he had no idea as it had all happened so fast.

Kenny spent a good deal of time in the hospital. The damage done by the cut took hundreds of stitches and a couple of surgeries to repair. It took months, maybe an entire year, for him to heal.

The next time I saw him, he had a huge scar across his arm and chest. But he had been doing a lot of weight work and stepped up his karate training. And, as a result, he had bulked up tremendously. When I asked him about his increase in size and more intense training regiment, he just said he didn’t intend for anything like the slashing to ever happen to him again.

Ron soon moved to LA in order to train again with Soke Kubota and Kenny followed him down. He trained in LA for many years before his untimely death last year.

The following is not based on anything Kenny ever told me directly or I know for fact. It is based only on what I heard from others who knew him better than I did. And knowing Kenny as I did, it wouldn’t surprise me if it were true.

According to the story, Kenny had actually gotten a good look at the slasher or had seen him before and recognized him. He had told the police he couldn’t describe him because he didn’t want the guy in prison. He wanted him on the street, where he could serve justice to him himself. Friends said he had intentionally bulked up in order to be able to better punish the man when he tracked him down. As I said, I don’t know if this part of the story is true or false or, if true, if the guy ever got what he deserved. But part of me hopes so.

Kenny Kuch was a great guy and great martial artist who left us far too early. He was a bright spot in a sometimes very dark world.

I'll be getting back soon to our discussion on Instructing Children in the Martial Arts. Thanks for reading. 

Instructing Children in the Martial Arts – Part VIII

One of the first things that generally alerts me to a possible sexual abuser is a lot of touching. This is also one of the behaviors identified by the Boy Scouts of America in their youth protection program.

Several years ago, I observed an instructor who focused a lot of extra attention on the adult women in his classes. He never, to my knowledge, turned his attention onto anyone underage. But his approach, in my estimation, was very similar to that used by those who groom children, so it can perhaps serve as a model of the kinds of things they might do.

He always began with a lot of touching. He would start by stroking or touching women’s arms in ways he never touched any of the men. He would rotate their hips for them with his hands, supposedly to show them proper mechanics. He would re-tie their belts. He would straighten their gis – pull the tops down, etc. If that didn’t raise any red flags, he would almost lovingly smooth the wrinkles out of their gis with his hand, massage their necks and backs, and so on.

In correcting students on the dojo floor, I think instructors should avoid touching anyone, but especially underage students, on any inappropriate body area or in an inappropriate manner, regardless of the gender of either party. Inappropriate body areas might include those on, near, or around the hips, buttocks, genitals, lower stomach, and upper half of the thigh for males and these same areas plus the front and side chest and upper stomach areas for females.

As mentioned earlier, how an instructor touches his students can also be inappropriate, even if away from the areas noted above. Students should never be touched in a sexually suggestive manner on any part of their anatomies.

It’s important we all bear in mind that the behaviors we’re discussing are not just for our use in identifying potential abusers so we can better protect our students. Many people are aware of these behaviors and will also use them to determine if we are abusers. So we all need to be constantly on-guard against performing any of the behaviors we will discuss ourselves or risk making people suspicious of us.

I’ll soon get into other behaviors in coming posts. Thanks again for reading. And please feel free to share any of my posts with others. The more people who join us here, the more input we can generate and the greater the educational value we'll all receive. So please spread the word!

Instructing Children in the Martial Arts – Part VII

When a well-known martial artist was recently arrested, I received a private message from someone who knew the details in the case. He told me the instructor had been arrested for “Child Grooming”. This wasn’t a term I was familiar with, so I looked it up and found the following definition in an e-article on the website, Families.Com:

“Grooming is a process of desensitization that predators use on children to prepare and trick them into accepting sexual abuse. Once the predator has gained the child's trust and confidence, they use everyday behaviours, like telling an inappropriate joke, a touch on the upper arm that lingers a little too long or a kiss on the lips to test whether your child is likely to tell on them. If the perpetrator is satisfied that your child won't tell, the predator moves onto other forms of bad touching. If the child still doesn't tell, then the abuse continues along the continuum of abuse from non contact, to contact and often ending with penetration and sometimes even homicide.”

(You can read their entire article on the subject at the following link: http://mental-health.families.com/blog/the-grooming-process-of-a-child-sexual-predator)

I was very familiar with its definition, as I had taught parents and children for almost 30 years in my fixed-length StreetWise and SafeChild programs to recognize and resist anyone who attempts to “groom” them. I just didn’t know there was an official name for it.

It’s important we all know how to recognize sexual predators in order to prepare ourselves, our children, and our students to avoid their advances. But instructors also need to be able to recognize such behavior in anyone, including members of our staffs, who come into contact with our students.

I’ll soon be getting into the signs that can enable you to better recognize sexual predators and the types of behaviors they follow to “groom” their targets. Thanks again for your continued support.

Instructing Children in the Martial Arts – Part VI

One more warning story.

An instructor/friend who was well-loved by his students was teaching karate after school one day at an elementary school. A group of former students (older girls who had moved on to the middle school) were on campus for an event. They saw him teaching and ran into the classroom, where they gave him a big group hug.

By chance, a school administrator was walking past the classroom around the same time and noticed what was happening. She continued on but passed by again on her way back to her office a few minutes later. The girls were still hugging the instructor, as sort of a joke. But the administrator felt it had gone on too long and the instructor was soon fired. He tried to appeal the firing but was unsuccessful. The school’s position was it had raised a question mark about him in school administrators’ minds and they had no choice but to do whatever was necessary to make sure their students were not at risk.

This is what scientists call a Type I Error.

There are two types of errors one can make in this type of situation, Type I and Type II. A Type I Error is where an innocent person is erroneously determined to be guilty and sent to prison. A Type II Error is where a guilty person is erroneously determined to be innocent and set free.

Our society has determined that they would rather run the risk that a guilty person be set free (Type II Error) than an innocent person be sent to prison. So our criminal justice system is structured in such a manner as to better prevent Type I Errors than Type II. (It doesn’t always work. Innocent people are convicted of crimes they didn’t commit. But we likely let far more guilty people walk than lock up innocent ones. And that is the intentional bias of the system.)

When it comes to the protection of our children, however, schools, parents, and people in general almost always lean heavily towards preventing Type II Errors (that a guilty person will be allowed to walk free) – believing it’s better to send away an occasional innocent person than run the risk a guilty one will be allowed access to our children. This is the exact opposite slant of our criminal justice system.

This was what school administrators applied in the case mentioned above. And it will likely be what will be the case in most similar situations you encounter. When in doubt, no matter how slight, they will let you go, pull their children out of your program, or file charges.

I have become very careful about physical contact with students. I don’t hug students unless 1) I know them and their families very well, 2) it’s appropriate, 3) not done often, and 4) in a public setting, where other people are there. When students hug me, I make sure I keep it brief. I will say something comforting or funny to them and step back, separating us. Many children today need affection, as they may not be getting it at home. So I never want to hurt their feelings or do anything to make them feel even worse. But we need to protect ourselves.

A classroom teacher once told me she never initiates a hug with a student. She only returns them when a student hugs her, as children do on occasion. This is good advice for all of us.

I’ll stop for now but have another couple of issues to discuss before we move on to other more positive matters.

Instructing Children in the Martial Arts – Part V

An instructor/friend used to hold annual summer camps at a major national park. All of his camps were heavily attended by his students, who looked forward all year to the events. Buses were hired to transport everyone several hundred miles to the park, and not just young students, but entire families as well. At the park, everyone lived in a large block of the park’s permanent tents, which my friend had arranged months in advance. He spent the entire preceding year planning the calendar for each camp, making sure each day’s events would be both fun and educational. It was a great venue and he did a great job.

One night (as best as I remember the details), a teenage girl bragged to a friend that she had just had sex with a man at the camp. Word reached the girl’s mother and the girl was questioned. She affirmed the incident and identified the man as the young husband of one of the camp’s assistant instructors and father of one of the campers.

The police were called. The man was arrested, tried, and convicted. He spent time in prison and lost his family and his job. In the process, he also, unfortunately, put an end to the camps.

I mention this because it is a possibility we all need to take into consideration when planning our events. I always try to implement a comprehensive system of chaperones to make sure young students, and especially teenagers, can never be alone with those of the opposite gender.

There was an unusual wrinkle to this incident. The man claimed the girl had “come on” to him. When he ignored her advances, she reportedly told him that if he didn’t have sex with her, she would tell people that he had and get him into trouble. So, according to him, he relented. The girl never denied his claim (to my knowledge), nor did it matter legally. The police medically verified the act had taken place between an adult and an underage girl and he was imprisoned.

Those of us who knew the girl suspected that she was capable of doing what he claimed. This was certainly no excuse for what he did. That was clearly defenseless. Plus most of us would have handled such a threat in the exact opposite manner. We would have immediately reported her to her mother and those in charge. So, in my estimation, he was either lying or stupid.

But in this age of an over-emphasis on sex at younger and younger ages, it is yet another of the many things instructors need to be on guard against – both from the standpoint of themselves and from that of those who attend their events or teach for them.

Thank you for reading. I’ll soon be adding another couple of posts on this and related subjects before moving on to more positive matters.

Instructing Children in the Martial Arts – Part IV

“As teachers we have a sacred oath to our students (and their families). They view us as teachers, mentors and protectors.” – Hanshi Cezar Borkowski

A few years ago, a major British actress (forget which one) appeared on one of our late-night TV talk shows – Jay Leno, I think. They talked at one point about her children. The host asked if they were going to attend school in Los Angeles or London. She quickly said they would be educated in the UK. The host asked “Don’t you like American children?” Her reply was “There are no children in America, only little adults.”

The emphasis on sex within our society is pervasive. It’s in our ads. It’s in our music. It’s in our movies and on TV. It permeates our entire society. So it’s no wonder kids today are far more sex-oriented (by light years) than in my day.

All this means instructors need to be even more careful today.

Comedian Richard Pryor once talked about the challenge he found in being around his teenage daughter’s underage girlfriends, especially on those nights when they had sleep-overs. Some, according to him, were sexually very forward. He said “These girls were in my house and they were beautiful and had the bodies of women in these skimpy, little nighties and I thanked God they still had those little girl voices. When they’d say ‘How are you tonight, Mr. Pryor?’ it would always clear my head.”

Martial arts instructors can be faced with the same challenge. When we couple our sexually permissive society with the fact that we are often viewed by our students as wise, flawless, and powerful men and women, we have the potential for a perfect and very destructive storm. Some can find the qualities they see in us as being very attractive. I’ve also seen competition develop within a dojo to see who could be the one to capture the instructor’s heart, and in some cases parts further south. When those who offer themselves, or go after, an instructor are underage, a major, life-ruining situation can easily develop if the instructor isn’t strong enough to keep things in a proper student-instructor relationship.

I’ve always viewed my students as my children. (Of course, I’m old enough now that all of them could be my children – or my grandchildren or great grandchildren.) So it hasn’t been a challenge for me. But I am aware of many who did find it a challenge. And I know of none who succumbed to such thoughts and it ended well for anyone.

I’ll cut this off for now. But I’ll have a bit more to say about it in my next post. Thanks again for your continued support.