Instructing Children in the Martial Arts – Part IV

“As teachers we have a sacred oath to our students (and their families). They view us as teachers, mentors and protectors.” – Hanshi Cezar Borkowski

A few years ago, a major British actress (forget which one) appeared on one of our late-night TV talk shows – Jay Leno, I think. They talked at one point about her children. The host asked if they were going to attend school in Los Angeles or London. She quickly said they would be educated in the UK. The host asked “Don’t you like American children?” Her reply was “There are no children in America, only little adults.”

The emphasis on sex within our society is pervasive. It’s in our ads. It’s in our music. It’s in our movies and on TV. It permeates our entire society. So it’s no wonder kids today are far more sex-oriented (by light years) than in my day.

All this means instructors need to be even more careful today.

Comedian Richard Pryor once talked about the challenge he found in being around his teenage daughter’s underage girlfriends, especially on those nights when they had sleep-overs. Some, according to him, were sexually very forward. He said “These girls were in my house and they were beautiful and had the bodies of women in these skimpy, little nighties and I thanked God they still had those little girl voices. When they’d say ‘How are you tonight, Mr. Pryor?’ it would always clear my head.”

Martial arts instructors can be faced with the same challenge. When we couple our sexually permissive society with the fact that we are often viewed by our students as wise, flawless, and powerful men and women, we have the potential for a perfect and very destructive storm. Some can find the qualities they see in us as being very attractive. I’ve also seen competition develop within a dojo to see who could be the one to capture the instructor’s heart, and in some cases parts further south. When those who offer themselves, or go after, an instructor are underage, a major, life-ruining situation can easily develop if the instructor isn’t strong enough to keep things in a proper student-instructor relationship.

I’ve always viewed my students as my children. (Of course, I’m old enough now that all of them could be my children – or my grandchildren or great grandchildren.) So it hasn’t been a challenge for me. But I am aware of many who did find it a challenge. And I know of none who succumbed to such thoughts and it ended well for anyone.

I’ll cut this off for now. But I’ll have a bit more to say about it in my next post. Thanks again for your continued support.